Tag Archive: fiction

The Morning After

The bed is warm and there’s sunlight trying to creep under the curtains as I slowly wake up. It feels weird, I know I haven’t been asleep, but also I have been.

The person in the bed next to me stirs slightly, snuggling closer, still using my shoulder as a pillow.

“You know you’re an idiot, right?”

The corner of my mouth twitches up in response to her sleepy voice.

“I know.”

My hand comes up, round her back, lazily caressing up and down her bare arm. I haven’t opened my eyes yet, as the memories of a life that I’ve lived, and haven’t lived, start to well up. Some are still the same, I remember mother leaving just after Imogen was born, and my blossoming seems relatively similar, the scar on my back twitching slightly as I examine the memory. But more things are different. Dad’s death, the legal battles for custody, the city of queens, the wands, but to name a few.

But most of all, there’s a women. Standing by me. Taking my hand. The first kiss, the first night together, the first argument. So many firsts. Except we know we’ve been here before, in so many lifetimes.

Four years together in this one. Four years of memories that sit weirdly new and old in my head. Except now I can feel her skin beneath my fingers. Feel her breath passing over my chest. Hear the faint sound of her heartbeat as she lies in my arm.

The end of my nose gets flicked and I open one eye to look down at her. Her green eyes are slightly mischievous as the finger trails down over my face, playing with my lips. I kiss the tips of her fingers and earn a smile.

“Still an idiot.”

I chuckle and squeeze her slightly, “I wasn’t ready to give up on you.”


My mouth twitches again, and I roll us over, her long brown hair scattering across the sheets as she ends up slightly pinned beneath me.

“You complaining?” I ask, a bare inch away from her face.

She reaches up, linking her hands round the back of my neck, fiddling with my short hair as she gives me a contemplative look.


And then we kiss. A proper kiss, not one from a life that happen in retrospective. A long, tender one, fuelled by the desire of lifetimes past, closing the gap that our former lives had driven between us.

Even I run out of breath eventually, and pull back, brushing my nose against hers.

Which is naturally when I hear the thumping footsteps of my sibling, and a pounding on the door.

“Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!”

Ah yes. It is that day of the week.

She chuckles, and shoves me away, ripping the covers off and rolling herself up in them. I make a noise of protest and she just smiles at me, only the very corners of her mouth betraying smugness.

“I want breakfast in bed.”

“Oh do you now.”

“Mhm. Mush.”

Her foot creeps out, pushing me off the bed some more. I grab the foot, and kiss it, before making my way to the door.

“The things I do…” I mutter under my breath as I greet an excited Immy and she sprints off to the kitchen.

“Hey, Aegis?”

I turn back to her.

“What’s my name?”

No matter how hard I tried, I never could remember. In the old life that was.


The smile is quite smug now, as she settles back down into the bed. I can’t help but smile to myself as I make my way down to the kitchen, lift Immy onto the counter, and start to make breakfast with her. I’ve only been in this life for minutes, and it’s already far better than the last.

I guess it’s okay to be selfish once in a while. Especially if you get to re-write your own life.


Where It All Began

My eyes are still narrowed as I look out across the border, into the land which we’re about to call our own. It’s quite bright, and sunny, and hot. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the weather yet, I’m more used to cold and sunny. And yes, that does make sense when you live up a mountain.


I turn my gaze from the vast expanse of scrubland to the person who’s just come up to me. It’s Francesca, a noble I’ve been speaking to on and off since I joined up with the wands a little while back now. I like her, we get on well.

“Hey yourself.”


“Not so much nervous. More, like, that energy of anticipation, can’t wait to actually get going, possibly slightly too hyper about this whole thing.”

Francesca grins at me. I don’t think it’s indulgent, okay, maybe a little. But on the other hand, I think she gets what I’m saying.

We kick around for a bit more, as people in the massive group triple and quadruple check the stuff we’re bringing with us. No wheeled vehicles to help, they’d be useless in the sandy environment we’re going into, so everything’s being carried. Not like we mind, we are wands after all.

Heh. Feels good to say that.

The entire column turns to look at our Queen as she steps out, looking out into the distance, then she makes a single gesture, and we start moving.

It’s not fast, it can’t be with this many people, but it is a sustained pace. We’re all pretty hardy, invested in working for it, and we knew that this was going to be a bit of a slog. And it’s still scrubland, so it’s not hard going as of yet.

Evening comes, and we spend another hour walking in the cooler air before the halt is called and we can group up and pitch tents. Francesca asked me if I wanted to share, and that’s cool by me. I know a few people around the court now, but I’m as friendly with Francesca as I am with anyone. Probably more so now since we spent the entire day walking together and chatting. Turns out, we joined for much the same reasons: that pride of doing something with your own two hands and skills, not really wanting, no needing, recognition for it, but just taking a sense of pride in having done it. I mean, sure, I’m very capable of showing off, but I don’t really take to it like the Swords do. I have Fuoco, but that’s more just useful for keeping warm up in the freezing conditions of the mountains. Heh, I even admitted to her that a small reason for coming along was the potential for new places to climb. She just seems to be really on board with the court, and to be fair, being part of something new like this is pretty exciting.

Also she’s a damn decent cook. Way better than me, especially considering the small fires we’re having to use. I leave her to it, and get some nice food out of it. Score.

The next day I wake up early, I signed up to the scout group. So I pack up everything that isn’t the roll Francesca’s still sleeping in, and the tent itself, giving her an easier time of it when she does wake up and they break camp, and go join the other people in the early morning air.

Honestly, it’s quite boring. Just scrubland for miles and miles around. Not even any creatures around. I mean, that’s good from a threat point of view, but means we’ve got quite a way to go before we find home. That’s okay, I thought it would take a while. We just have to trust our Queen.

I get back to the column just before midday, make my report, and then amble off to find Francesca somewhere in the column. From there it’s much the same as it was yesterday, and I feel like it’s going to be much the same for most of the trip.

Day three and we’re on stretcher duty. Some of the people who came with us, not nobles, but you need far more than nobles to make a city, have already reached their limit. That’s fine, we all have a limit, and as long as you kept going as long as you could, then the rest of us are here to help you get there when you can’t by yourself.

The women on the stretcher is a cobbler by trade. She’s coming along mostly because she’s heard that there are giant lizards out in this land, and she wants to try her hand with the leather that comes off them, since it’s apparently nightmarish to work with. Sounds like a fun challenge.

Francesca’s in front, throwing back the occasional comment. I’m at the rear, smiling and chatting. It’s easy and comfortable.

Which is probably why the women on the stretcher says “It’s so nice to see two young people starting their lives together in a new place. This is all about new beginnings you know.”

Wait, what?

Francesca almost trips up, jolting the stretcher a little bit. I’m not all that much better, I know I’ve gone bright red and I’m choking on air slightly. We stabilize the stretcher, and then I can’t look at either of them anymore as my cheeks continue to burn bright red.

The women apologises, and frankly, won’t stop apologising for assuming, and then keeps going on and on about new beginnings, and seems to be subtly hinting that we would make a good couple.

I still can’t really look ahead of me. My neck’s going to have such a crick in it by the time we stop tonight.

I’m frankly relieved when we do stop for the night. We pitch the tent, both not quite looking at each other, both being awkward, and frankly, it’s terrible. I’m surprised we can get the tent up with how we’re acting.

I mumble something out, and scurry off to get water for dinner, but find a quiet spot so I can take a breather.

Its fine, I tell myself. It’s all fine. It’s just an older women, with some opinions. We don’t need to be this awkward. Just breathe and start acting like a normal person again. You’re friends. You can shrug this off and laugh about it.

I get the water, and managed to fool myself into thinking it’s all okay, and that I’m cool and collected, until I duck through the tent opening and actually look at her again, then my stomach’s gone.

Although, there is a delicious smell coming from that pot already.

“Water, hang on, is that?”

Francesca looks down at the bottles I’ve just spotted. One’s wine, and the other looks like it’s filled with coffee granules.

“Yeah. I know everything was done on weight, but it’s just the one. And creature comforts are so nice after all.”

“You sure you want to share?”

“With you, yes.”

And there goes my stomach again. Dammit.

It’s good. Like, better than normal. I’m forcing myself to just be cool. Just, enjoy it for what it is. Don’t get weird. Pretend your stomach isn’t churning or flipping out every time you look over at her. The wine does help with the relaxing, I’ll admit. By the time we get to coffee, I’m pretty chill.

Or, at least, I can pretend to be.

I’m not sure what Francesca’s doing, or feeling. She’s harder to read than I am. But she seems fine. Yeah, let’s go with fine.

“So, I’m just going to ask this, straight up.”

Uh, what?

“Do you think I’m attractive?”

Shit. Thinking. Words. Thoughts. Need to do those.

“Well, yeah. I mean…”

I have more words that are going to get garbled out, possible involving the word ‘obviously’, but I don’t get the chance as suddenly Francesca’s there, on top of me, kind of pinning me to the floor. Kissing me.

You know what?

I’m totally fine with this.

At some point we lose the clothes. Or more accurately, Francesca starts pulling them off, looks at me, and I respond by pulling hers off. I am so fine with this. More than fine. It’s amazing.

We end up lying next to each other, sort of cuddling, a blanket warding off most of the chill of the night. Not that we really need it after working up all that body heat.

I’m mostly just looking at her face. Her eyes are currently closed, and there’s a little smile on her face. It’s kind of amazing to see. I’ve not really had a relationship before, but this feels…right.

Her eyes open, “What are you looking at?”


The smile gets a bit wider, and I can see her emotions a little bit clearer through it. There’s delight and pleasure, but also, relief?

“What are you thinking?”

She looks at me, “Mostly that I’m really glad you like me back.”

There’s something in there I pick up on, “Were you interested in me before today?”

She flicks her eyes away briefly, a tiny bit of colour coming into her cheeks, “Sort of. I thought you were cute when I met you. Spending this much time with you, yeah, I was interested. Had no idea if you were back though.”

“Well I hope you have a satisfactory answer now.”

She smiles, and slips an arm around my back, her fingers splaying out over the bare skin.

“What do you want out of this?”

I blink a couple of times, “That’s a bit deep, don’t you think?”

“Not really? I mean, this happened, and don’t get me wrong, it was fantastic. But, what about tomorrow?”

I discard my first, slightly flippant answer, and think about it for a few seconds. It seems like something she’s a bit, not worried…concerned about.

“I like you. I like what just happened. I would very much like it to happen again in the future, with you. I’m pretty sure that’s considered dating, so, I’d like to date you.”

She looks, kind of like she’s holding her breath, but I can hear her breathing, “You sure? It might not work out”

“Yeah I’m sure. And that’s kind of the point of dating. You do it for as long as it does work out, and if it doesn’t, that’s a problem for future us. Present me very much wants to date present you.”

She smiles, and tugs me in just a little bit further, her fingers pressing in on my back as they squeeze tight. Yup, I’m very happy to be right here.

The next couple of days almost seem to blur past, until time slows down again. I’m in the tent, starting dinner this time. Really, it’s not going to be as good as Francesca makes it, but I can at least make something edible.

I look up as she comes in the tent and greet her with a smile, which soon gains a frown.

“What’s up?”

She looks at me, and then sits down heavily next to me.

“It’s just…nonsense.”

“Tell me.”

Her face pulls to the side. I’ve not seen worry on her face before, she’s usually quite confidant and assured.

“I can’t help but think that there’s nothing out here but sand. And rocks. It’s been days since we left the Diamonds kingdom, and there’s nothing out here.”

I leave the spoon in the pot and turn all of my attention to her.

“We wouldn’t have started this journey if there wasn’t a destination out there for us.”

“I know, but…where? Do we have any idea where we are actually going?”

“She (Wands) knows it’s out there. We have to trust her, trust that she wouldn’t lead us into a situation where there is nothing but death at the end.”

“I know, I know. But, all the court is here. And even all the people who follow the court. If we don’t find anything, we’re all gone. The entire court, swallowed up before it could really get going.”

I crawl round a few inches until I’m behind her, and I can slip my arms around her shoulder from behind.

“You trust me, right?”


“And you trust the Queen?”

“I do. It’s just…”

“Well then, have a little faith that this will work out. And when you can’t, come to me. Trust in me to at least be able to make you feel a little better. I believe that we will find a home out here, no matter how long that takes. If you can’t believe that for yourself, then believe in me.”

Francesca closes her eyes, and one hand closes over mine, squeezing it.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

She opens one eye and looks at me, a tiny predatory glint in there. Excellent.


Time seems to fast forward again, until the distance starts to come into focus again, and we can see a looming rock in the distance. It’s day sixteen, and the laugh of the Queen that echoes out over the column lifts my spirits as she points at the rocks.

“There. That’s home.”

We’re not there yet, and I hear a lot of mumbling and talking as we complete the last length of distance over to the massive rock face. Really? That’s it? Where’s the water? How can we survive out here with no water?

I trust the Queen. She knows what she’s doing. And home is in sight now, I can feel my spirits starting to soar. I reach out and take Francesca’s hand. She’s got that tiny little frown that she doesn’t seem to realise she wears, just pinching her brow together. But it does disappear as I smile at her.

See? It’ll all work out, as long as we work for it.

The rock just juts straight up out of the sandy earth, almost completely sheer on this face. Almost. I’m looking up at it, trying to plot a route up if I was going to climb it. I can’t help it, it’s what I love.

The Queen strides forward, her inner circle of princesses following her as she walks up and down the face, examining it. Eventually she picks a spot, and talks to the princesses. That’s when the work starts. Menders, Troubadours, and anyone else with Shape charms surge forward, following the orders of the princesses as they start digging a huge channel, which then opens out into what can only be described as a reservoir.

I can’t help with that, and instead my attention wanders back to the sheer cliff face that the Queen is standing at the bottom of, looking at it and judging how I would climb it. Not whether I could climb it, definitely how.

It’s only a few hours for them to finish the work, benefit of magic really, but by this point even Francesca has given up and is sitting next to me, leaning against the pack I’m sitting on and my leg.

There’s a signal to the Queen, and she unslings her massive sword from her back and turns to the wall. I nudge Francesca so she can look at this as well, as the Queen carefully chooses a spot, and then stabs the sword down into the rock.

Yeah, her sword wins against rock. Because of course it does.

At first nothing really seems to happen, she pulls the sword out of the wall, and there’s just a massively jagged hole. It seems like the entire court is holding their breath as suddenly there’s a spray.

Dust? No, water.

Abruptly, it starts pouring out, bursting through that crack into the channel which has been packed down and lined to retain the precious liquid. A massive cheer goes up, and I can’t help but join in, laughing and whistling along with the rest of the people.

Francesca reaches out and takes me hand, giving it a squeeze as she smiles at me, a proper broad smile that I can’t help but return.

We’re home.


The starts above us glimmer in the night sky. There’s a warm breeze, ruffling our clothes as we sit here, the city splayed out below us.

It’s been twenty years since that day, and we’ve really made ourselves a home here. It’s still a long way from finished, people are talking about crop cycles and dirt and things I sort of understand now after working on this place for so long, but still, we’ve come a long way. The tent city is now almost entirely replaced with rock buildings, and the tunnels extend quite deep into the cliff, although we’re constantly looking for new places to expand into. I’m pretty sure I’ve found some natural caves higher up, it’s just working out how to join them into the existing network and make them useful to us.

The night life of the city below is actually quite active, and there’s a bit of a party due to finding the underground lake with fish in it, but there’s no place I’d rather be than up here with Francesca, looking down at it all, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff, side by side with her.

She leans against my shoulder, “Say it again.”


“That thing you say. Say it to me again.”

“Now what could that possibly be?”

A smile’s playing around my lips as she thumps me, both us very aware that I’m teasing.

“What I always want you to say. Tell me again.”

I clasp her hand, intertwining our fingers together as I bring it up to my lips and kiss it.

“Take my hand, and I swear I’ll love you ‘til the stars go out and beyond.”

She hums and settles back against my shoulder again, and smile firmly placed on her face. I place my cheek on top of her head, feeling it press into me as I look down, seeing her and the city we’ve helped build.

You and me. Forever and always, my love.

Breakfast Idyll

Alatoria almost felt like she was spying. She wasn’t really, and even if she was, it wasn’t like Melora would mind. And she take a simple joy in just watching her partner, especially when the morning light was coming through the curtains in such a nice way. They were currently eating breakfast, although Melora was somewhat engrossed in her data crystal. It was primarily her diary, Alatoria thought, but in the six years they had been partners, she’d never let her look. It wasn’t a big thing, Melora always told her if there was anything important, but she did wonder what went on in her lover’s head.

Melora reached out for her fork, absently stabbing a piece of food and bringing it up to her mouth. For a second her eyes flicked over to the other side of the table, and caught Alatoria looking at her.

“What’s on your mind?”

She smiled to herself a little, of course she’d caught her.

“Just admiring you.”

Melora lifted both eyes up to look over at her, before smiling, and then going back to her tablet, leaving Alatoria to her admiration.

The slow breakfast eventually came to an end, someone coming in to tidy the remains away as the two of them linked arms and slowly walked through the castle to the throne room where Alatoria needed to attend court.

Entering into the large and ornately decorated room, she leaned over and kissed Melora on the cheek, before her lover slipped her arm out of hers and went to find a space where she felt comfortable. She wasn’t really fond of courtly interactions, and tended to be elsewhere when Alatoria attended. Just one of her idiosyncrasies.

Alatoria moved across the court, stopping and talking to a few fellow Flowers, exchanging pleasantries, recent news, thoughts about the upcoming fair, the sort of polite interactions that characterised the court of Hearts.


The gentle call came over the court, and Alatoria immediately excused herself from her current conversation to present herself to her Queen. She knelt, before being bade to rise, a few words were exchanged, and then she could move over to the side where the Rose Groom was standing.

He had a data crystal in his hands that he was scrolling through, but gave her a smile as she approached and saluted him.

“Good morning Tori, I hope it finds you well.”

“It does, and yourself?”

“Most agreeable. Now, we’ve got you down to patrol out to Dallarn and the surrounding areas, have you done that one before?”

“I know the route.”

“Excellent,” he flicked over the surface of the tablet and a rota came up, “We’ve not scheduled anyone else with you, as usual.”

Alatoria looked over her should, and as expected, Melora was waiting there, near the edge of the room, looking over at the two of them. As she was courtless, she couldn’t be placed on the schedule with her, even though everyone knew that despite her name appearing by itself, she was never alone in performing her duties.

Alatoria did occasionally wonder why she didn’t join a court, but all Melora ever said when asked was ‘I used to, but don’t anymore’. Alatoria wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that, given that there didn’t seem to be enough time for her to have tried joining a court in this lifetime. Melora has always been countless since she’d known her, and that was quite a few years now. But, again, another idiosyncrasy, it didn’t change her she felt about her.

“Thank you.”

“Our pleasure,” The Rose Groom flicked his eyes over to her lover as well, and then back to her with a smile.

“Anything else I need to know?”

“There’s nothing listed. We’ve not had any reports of trouble out that way for a while, so I expect it should all be routine.”

“By your leave then.”

He nodded to her, and she left with another bow, before walking over and joining Melora.

“Where are we going this time?”

“Dallarn,” she said, before taking her hand, and leaning over to kiss her, “thank you.”

“For what.”

“Many things,” Alatoria couldn’t help but be happy that she had a women like Melora at her side, in work and life.

Melora gave her a bemused little smile as the two of them returned to their rooms and then the kitchens to pack a small amount of rations for the trip, before going down to the stables and saddling horses up. It wasn’t even midmorning by the time that they were underway, gentle trotting out the gates of the outer wall. Alatoria looked up, not catching her eyes to shield them from the bright sun in time, and her vision blossomed out into bright spots.


The Battle of Alhambra

Finally the gates swung open, and the armies could start moving out from the city. It was easy to see the Queens at the front, Wands and Swords, not quite next to each other. Of course the swords wanted to charge ahead, it was clear to see in the way they restrained themselves, matching the pace of the wands, who were marching forward in a determined sort of way.

Alex rolled her shoulder, her broadsword still strapped to her back. No reason to draw it until the fighting was about to start, and it was much more out of the way there than if she carried it, given how many people were packed into this army.

Her hand just brushed the back of the women walking next to her, and their eyes briefly flicked towards each other, meeting for a bare second, before returning forward. Even though they were going into a fight that they expected to be bigger than anything they had faced before, Alex wasn’t too worried. She was at her side, just like she always was, and that was enough to quell most of the unsettlement she felt.

Of course it wasn’t just the two armies out here, all of the remaining Queendoms had gathered. Cups, Hearts, Diamonds, Pentacle, Spades and Clubs were all around too, although somewhat scattered. Clubs were mostly at the back, along with a good number of Pentacles, setting up field hospitals. Fighters from the other courts were interpreted with the two main armies, as well as a rear guard manning the walls of Alhambra. They didn’t have many catapults, but archers could get quite a range from up there.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a mixed group of people, skirting along one of the edges of the field. Probably a skirmishing group, but it caught her eye as she recognised a fellow courtier – they’d only joined last night. Alex hadn’t been watching the circle particularly, more interesting in spending the evening with friends and lovers, and kicking her rival from the swords into the dirt once more, but she did know that a princess of hearts had apparently had a change of heart and come to join them. What a time to join, but, if they felt that wands was the right place for them, then Alex welcomed them.

The Queens had stopped, not too far away from them now, and the armies were starting to form up in a long line, stretching across the field for the better part of a mile. Alex took up her position at the front, her lover by her side. Unslinging her sword from her back, she felt the familiar grip in her hands as she watched the rolling mass of darkness stop a distance away, and then fall away from the centre as a women, a queen even, stepped out from the dark.

Alex frowned, as she felt a warm touch on her hand. She looked over at her love, and took the hand off her sword, interlacing their fingers together and squeezing slightly. She was still concerned about the Queen that seemed to be opposing them. She could see her own Queen’s face, and it looked thunderous. They weren’t quite close enough to hear what was being said, but from the way people were reacting, and the slightly smug smile of the opposing Queen, it wasn’t too hard to guess.

Reluctantly, she let her lover’s fingers go, gripping her sword again as her lover swung her spear round into a ready position as well. This was the worst part, as the moments stretched out a little more, the tension in the line growing. Looking over at the wall of darkness, Alex could see that it was less of a single wall, and more of heaving mass of shadowy creatures, all piling on top of one another, forming and disappearing, a constant writhing mass. Her hands tightened on her sword, the leather of the hilt creaking slightly as she did so.

A single tutting noise spread out across, overlaying any other noise despite it not being a loud sound. And the opposing Queen turned away, walking back into that wall of darkness. As soon as she disappeared, the wall broke, creatures bursting out of it, charging straight at the armies. Alex brought her sword up in a great arc, cleaving through the first hellhound that had come charging towards them, kicking it’s head away as it started to disintegrate, the body fading away in the grass. But Alex didn’t have time to think about it, as more creatures were already besetting them.

The battle seemed to pass by in flashes. Hard slogs through dozens of creatures punctuated by quick stops to catch the breath, before diving back in again. Falling back again for a quick breath, she swiped her hand across her face, wiping away the blood. A passing healer laid a hand on her shoulder, stripping off the most recent wounds. She gave them a nod of thanks, before looking around for her lover. A flash of the spear drew her attention, and she saw that her lover was currently engaged with one of the larger monsters, almost troll like in appearance. Her lover was quick, just keeping ahead of the troll’s heavy blows, but it was not going well for her. Charging in, Alex used a passing dog as a stepping stone, jumping off that onto the back of the troll, plunging her sword straight through its neck, the momentum of the leap taking her forward. Keeping a grip on the sword, she sheared it through half the neck, landing next to her lover as she twisted the spear round, hitting it so the last part of skin still holding the head on ripped, and the creature slumped over, ebbing away into nothingness as the two of them plunged back into the fighting.

It was exhausting, mentally and physically. All the bodies of the darkspawn, as they had come to be called, were ebbing away, leaving only the bodies of fellow nobles on the floor. Even though they were killing these things, the evidence in front of their eyes made it hard to believe, especially when there was no end to them. Once again she was wiping the blood from her face, stilling for a moment between the fights as she looked around, taking stock of the field.

There were so many dead, and her Queen was growing, dark clouds gathering overhead, different from the darkness which still loomed like a wall over all of them. Alex had to turn and slay a few more darkspawn before something else caught her attention. Over all of the field, the corpses were shimmering, pale spectres rising up from them, and drifting towards the city. She blinked in confusion, before she spotted the Queen of Cups, leaving the field, heading back to the city. Alex felt anger and bile rising up in her throat as the ghosts and cups left them, but that was nothing compared to the fury that she felt course through her next, as a shattering scream broke through the air.

Alex turned her head just in time to see her Queen, now gigantic in size, sprout a pair of glowing wings, electricity crackling from them and her sword, which she raised up into the thunderous sky. A bolt of purple lightning crashed down, striking the blade, and the blast that it created swept over the battlefield, hurling everything backwards, noble and darkspawn.

Things broke, she could feel that much as she landed in the mud. She noticed the mud was warm on her neck, that was odd. Oh, of course, it was blood that was soaking through the earth right now, not rain. Her sword was still in her hand, although she wasn’t gripping it anymore. It was hard to really concentrate, part of her knew that she was dying. She was tougher than most, but even if she hadn’t been fighting for hours, that explosion from her Queen would have been hard to shrug off. And there was that scream, that terrible, awful scream, still ringing in her ears, singing of loss and anger and vengeance.

A movement in the corner of her eye. She turned her head, and could see her lover, getting up onto her hands and knees, coming over to her. That was good, Alex would hate to see them die, although she guessed that was unfair, considering that they would have to watch her die instead.

There were tears in her eyes as she leaned over, mouthing words at her, but Alex couldn’t hear anything apart from the scream. And there was this tugging sensation, not quite a physical one, but the storm, crackling with purple lightning, surrounding the massive figure of her Queen, was pulling at her. The sword she still loosely held was starting to crackle as well, tiny purple sparks running up and down its length.

Her lover looked terrified. Alex felt so bad, she tried to bring her hand up to touch her face. It’s fine, she wanted to say. If this is where it ends, then that’s okay. She thought back to last night – she hadn’t slept for half the night, staying awake, watching her lover as she had slumbered in her arms, just so peaceful and right. I spent my final time here with you, she tried to speak. I got to spend my life with you. I love you, and it’s alright.

Her lover looked up, and Alex could turn her head slightly to see the Queen from earlier, someone she now recognised as the Queen of Many Courts. She was looking down at the pair of them, a sad sort of smile on her face. A couple more tears splashed down, and Alex could see their mouths moving, and a sense of dread starting in her stomach.

No, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, don’t. Please, don’t do anything stupid. She reached up with her hand, managing to touch her face. Her lover caught the hand, her grip betraying her panic as she looked down at Alex again, and then back up to the Queen.

It’s not worth it. Whatever price you’re paying, it’s too much, I’m not worth it, please…don’t.

She knew she wasn’t speaking, but she was praying that the words might find her, even as something pulled on her soul, and she screwed up her eyes in pain.

When she opened them again, the Queen was there, leaning over her, one finger extended out. Alex flicked her eyes back to her lover, wide and panicked, looking at their tear-stained face.

What did you do?

Then the Queen touched her, and it all went black.

Not Writing

not-writingIt’s weird. I’ve haven’t really written anything since the start of the year. Well, that’s not technically true – I haven’t written any fiction since that start of the year. I have been writing a lot, mostly masters work, as I mentioned in the first post of the year. Two pieces of work were handed in in January, I’ve got an essay on Open Access due in this month, the dissertation is ongoing and I’m just starting to sink my teeth into the literature review, and the other piece of coursework is ongoing, ending with a 3,000 words reflective report that is going to reference and build on weekly exercises we’re doing alongside the lectures. So, actually, there is a lot of writing, but none of it has been fiction.

It’s kind of weird so far. And, yes, there is something of a feeling that I am less of a writer than I was last year because I am not writing at the moment. But, on the other hand, it’s a conscious decision because I have something which I consider more important at the moment, and it’s not like I’m giving up writing forever – I’m just not engaging with it at the moment in favour of something else. But brains and feelings are funny places, and just because I know that I will pick it back up towards the end of the year when all this masters work is done and out the way, doesn’t stop me from feeling a little bit remorseful about it.

It’s not like I can’t write either, but a lot of my spare time and almost all of my energy is going on the masters, and energy is something that I have in short supply (stupid anaemia -_-) so even if I do find a spare half hour here or there, my brain usually isn’t in the mood to do anything other than spacing out. And yes, you should force yourself to write even when you don’t want to, but I also need to not burn out, so I am making sure that when I’m not working on the masters, the time is spent wisely, either just relaxing or napping or doing something that doesn’t require brain power because I’ve spent it all. Me rambling on like this is mostly just me trying to convince myself that I shouldn’t feel guilty for not writing. Also partly because a lot of my short fiction ends up on here, and if I don’t write then there is a slight lack of things to post here. Although I do have an idea to photograph all the dragons in my study and show them to you, which is something that won’t take a lot of time, but since there are a lot of them, would probably need to be spread out over several posts. I should really work on that. And I vaguely have the idea of finding another theme challenge to do flash fiction with, as those don’t tend to take a lot of time, and they are good for just keeping up with it on the side.

Also I do have to admit, right now everything is competing against the new Nintendo Switch and Zelda: Breath of the Wild game for my attention. It came out on Friday in the UK, and I am in love with the console and the game. I don’t even care how many times I’ve died, it is a beautiful game and I am so in love with it and all I want to do is play it and play it some more. I really didn’t get much coursework done over the weekend, I’ll confess.


Princess 2017

My usual apologies for the lack of posting. This time it was a combination of coursework being due in on the 16th (got both pieces in before they were due, score me) and as soon as I had handed them in, I came down with that rather nasty cold/plague that’s been doing the rounds. Two weeks later and I’m still coughing and sniffling, and I do wish my lungs would start working properly sometimes soon.

However, it has been a busy year so far. Mostly coursework and gaming, with extra gaming since the coursework got handed in (I’ve been playing a lot more video games since then, there was this kind of cool indie one called Stories: Paths of Destiny, and I’ve started Skyrim for the first time ever rather than just watching other people play). Including a Princess crossover game where the two groups actually got to meet up and tackle a really big problem that was kind of threatening to literally rain monsters down on our cities. We tackled it, although it wasn’t easy – I play a front line fighter who has such good defences they are near impossible to badly hurt, and I nearly ended up bleeding out. Although the giant monster did eat me a little bit.

d10-diceI really love this tabletop game (and there’s another session tonight, hooray!), and a lot of stuff has happened since we started playing. I’ve gotten a much better handle on my character, they’ve gone through a court change, and a name change associate with that, and they are currently exploring their own gender identity, transitioning from female to non-binary as I explore them and how they actually act and feel about that area. It’s something that I might have mentioned before, but I see a lot of parallels to writing, because it is telling a story, and telling it over such an extended period of time actually helps to build in these character arcs as I get to build on them with each game rather that it just happening all at once. That, and I love this character so much, it’s really nice to just sit down and play them and have all the terrible things that our GM loves to throw at us happen – the biggest external plot they’ve got going on right now is that someone from a past life (probably past lives, they seem to have encountered each other quite a lot) has shown up again and is being a bit weird around Aegis, who isn’t exactly sure she can trust anything they say given which court they are in. It’s beautiful drama.

And because I love it so much, I’ve started writing fan fiction about it. I call it fan fiction, but since it’s my character in a game I play in, I’m not sure that’s an entirely accurate term, but you know what I mean. So, here’s a little extract of that.


 “Come on,” Aegis held their hand out to Keres, looking down at the other princess as they detransformed, their shirt corners settling down over slightly worn out jeans.

Keres sniffed as she looked up, a slightly confused look on her face as she gazed at the hand that was still extended out to her. Aegis wiggled their fingers, obviously expecting the hand to be taken. There were a few more moments of hesitation, as if Keres couldn’t quite believe that it was suddenly this simple, after so much resistance, but then she reached out, and Aegis pulled her to her feet.

Keeping the hand in their own, Aegis started walking down the street.

“Where are we going?”

“Back to my place. Just a small diversion first.”

There was a tiny frown still on her face as they walked through the city, eventually coming up to a school just as the bell rang out. Soon after floods of kids poured out of the doors, joining the various parents who were waiting outside for them.

“Luca!” The last ‘a’ was elongated as a short person with a long flying ponytail came blasting out of the door and leapt at Aegis.

Aegis easily caught her in their arms and lifted them up in a big hug, “Hey small one. Good day?”

“We got to play with keyboards in music class! Who’s that?”

“That?” Aegis followed the glance to look over at Keres, “That’s one of my friends whose coming to dinner tonight.”

Imogen looked at Aegis and blinked, “You never have friends over.”

“First time for everything.”

“Can we still have fish fingers?”

Aegis looked back over their shoulder again, “You like fish fingers?”

Keres opened her mouth and then shrugged, “Sure.”

“Yay!” Imogen wriggled out of Aegis’ arms and dropped to the floor, immediately going over and inserting her hand into Keres’ as she struck up conversation about her day.

Aegis came the other side of her and took the other hand, walking out of the school with an easy smile on their face as they listened, occasionally commenting, on the small one’s school day.

The flat was on the third floor of the block, as Aegis took out a key and unlocked the front door.

“Who’s home?”

“Me,” A slightly apathetic voice came from the sofa, and Aegis walked over and smiled.

“You go to sleep now and you’ll never get any rest tonight.”

“But I’m exhausted! My P.E. teacher effing sucks.”


“I didn’t swear!”

“Effing is hardly enough of a diversion from the word you were going to say. Come on, up. You’ll need to share the sofa tonight.”

Jake rolled up and over, his uniform rumpled from where he had collapsed on the sofa, and blinked in surprised as he spotted the other person in the flat.

“Whatever,” he grumbled, but shuffling over to free up some space on the sofa.

“Have you got homework?”


“The only person who gets punished by your incomplete homework is you.”

He grumbled again, then pulled his bag towards him and flipped out a book onto the table, pen in hand as he slumped over and started scrawling.

Time passed them by, food was cooked and then demolished, even if there was a tiny incident with peas. Soon enough the evening had gone, without a call from Aegis’ fellow princesses for once, and they came out of the bedroom which they had just ushered their siblings into, closing the door quietly.

Keres looked at them, like she was expecting them to say something, but they didn’t as they walked over and sat down on the floor, leaning back on the sofa before dragging a pad towards them and flipping to a new page of paper.

There was a few minutes of scratching, before Keres broke the silence.

“So what was this?”

“Hm? It was dinner. Admittedly simple, I’m not the best cook in the world.”

“No, I mean. You’ve never given any indication that you trust me, and suddenly, you’re letting me into your home? Letting me meet your siblings? I mean, I guess you had some, but you’ve never given anything away about them, and suddenly here I am.”

Aegis continued to write as they looked down at the paper, “You needed it.”

“What makes you think that?”

Their lips twitched up into that trademark not-quite-a-smile, “The collapsing and sobbing wasn’t enough?”

“I was not sob- wait,” she looked at the back of their head, the short blond hairs still in disarray, “You remember, don’t you?”

There was a pause from them this time, “More than I’ve been letting on. Not as much as you claim to. But some things, like how you could sometimes lose your grip.”

“On what?”

Aegis finally turned their head to look at her, “Reality. Tonight was supposed to help ground you. Remind you that’s it’s not all princess business and there is a world here. Sometimes I think you forget that.”

Keres reached out, stretching her fingers out to gently touch Aegis’ cheek.

“Do you trust me?”

Aegis looked at her, those grey eyes boring into her, “I hope I can.”

She sighed, and let herself fall over on the sofa, hand trailing around to the back of Aegis’ head, playing with the short hairs at the nape of their neck.

“I’ll take it.”

She could almost hear the lips twitch up again.


The Blood Within – Extract

As much as I am easing off the pedal in December, I am going to try and get some sort of semi-regular posting schedule done on the blog. I do like writing here, and hate feeling like I’m ignoring it. So hopefully I can get a few fiction and dragons posts down.

I mentioned in the November debriefing post that I changed projects halfway through (well, less than halfway, but, you know, who needs accuracy) the month. However, The Blood Within is still very much an idea in my head and I don’t think it’s unwritable, it’s just not writable yet.

So, for my fiction piece today, I thought I’d share with you a bit that I did manage to write. Just to remind myself that it probably isn’t as bad as I think it is and I can totally come back to it as a when it and I are ready.



Ghost turned her head, following the sounds of the laughter as it travelled around. It was moving, in very quick bursts, but she was able to follow it smoothly, which was more than could be said for Daria.

She was spinning with every new sound, trying to track the source of the distinct laughs, starting at every noise, even as she staggered, a small trickle of blood seeping out from the wound on her arm. It looked far more blood than usual, Ghost noticed.

The laugh came again, and Daria spun around, staggering as her legs gave way, and Ghost stepped forward to catch her. Daria tried to wave her off, but only succeeding in further unbalancing herself, driving her sword into the ground to hold herself up, before entirely collapsing to the ground.

Ghost removed her two swords first, tucking them back into her belt, before she picked Daria up and moved her off the ground, placing her underneath a tree, her back supported by the trunk so she was sitting up. She remembered the medicine other people had practiced, and it would keep her heart elevated, her body warmer than if it was entirely on the ground, and if she woke up, it would be a more relaxing position to be in.

There was rustling from behind her, but Ghost finished with Daria before she stood up as turned around, looking at the effeminate figure that had appeared in behind her.

It laughed again, its bronzed skin lighting up, even in the shade of the trees. It looked over at her, tilting its head to one side, holding a finger up to its lips.

“I know what you a-are.”

It was said in a sing-song voice, drawing out the last word. Ghost continued to look at the person, and slowly tilted her head so that it mirrored its.

They laughed again, and there was a rustling noise, suddenly appearing right in front of Ghost’s face. She drew back fractionally at the sudden intrusion into her space. It was an action that she took without thinking, and it caused her to blink a few times. More laughter.

It reached out with a long finger, waving it from side to side in front of her face. She followed it with her eyes, tracing it back and forth. Until suddenly it thrust out, just flicking the end of her nose.

For the second time that encounter, she drew back, blinking rapidly.

The person laughed again, and then drew back a little, gazing at her with a fascination that she hadn’t seen since that castle, where Caspian has often had a similar look when he chose to acknowledge her. Their eyes were a warm golden colour, nothing like would be found on humans, combined with their skin and hair, the effect was like looking at a soft fire or sun, very warming.

“You know, it’s been years since one of your kind was around.”

“Six hundred and thirty seven.”

“That long? My, time does fly. Or crawl. Or spin away into nothingness,” they stepped in closer again, but Ghost didn’t pull back this time. She was ready for an attack, although she didn’t think one would be coming.

“Are you?”

She blinked at the person, not comprehending the question.

Some moments passed, then they sighed, rolling their eyes dramatically, “The only one?”

“Yes. I am the only Dhampir. Currently alive.”

“Awwww. All alone. Lonely little Dhampir.”

Ghost didn’t react. She wasn’t sure what the person meant by alone.

“Oh, I remember now. You’re a little bit weird in the emotions department aren’t you? You always did have that problem. Guess everyone forgot that, huh?”

Ghost didn’t respond. She didn’t know if it was actually a question of whether the person was just talking out loud.

It laughed again. Ghost turned her head away, looking back over at Daria. She could still hear the heartbeat, so she knew that she wasn’t dead, but it probably wasn’t good and they probably should go find someone.

There was a pressure on her cheek, and her head was turned back, the person back right in front of her, one hand on her face, gently turning it back to face her.

“Tell you what. I’m feeling nice, so I am going to help you,” there was emphasis on the words I and you, which she thought might mean something, but she wasn’t sure what.

The other hand took hers, turning it over and holding it out, and something cold and smooth was placed in it. Ghost looked down as they stepped away, and she saw that it was a glass vial. Worming the stopped out of the neck, she held it up, going in to smell it, and realising that there was nothing in it.

She looked up at the person, “Empty?”

“For the moment,” they smiled, then brought a single finger up to their mouth, and bit down on it, and Ghost’s eyes dilated out as she smelt the fresh blood in the air.

There was something strange about it, making saliva rise at the back of her throat. It was almost like a tingle at the back of her throat, that anticipation of a meal, but there was something unusual and exotic, something she couldn’t quite imagine or grasp hold of, invoked by the smell of that blood.

The person spotted as she perked up but held up her uninjured hand, wiggled a finger from side to side as they tutted, “Do behave. This isn’t for you to drink. Not yet anyway.”

Ghost stood very still, only her eyes moving, following the person as they moved, fixating on the blood flowing from the injured finger. They walked slowly over to her, stopping just a pace away, and slowly held out their hand, letting the blood run over their skin, until it started dripping off, landed in the empty vial.

Ghost didn’t move a muscle as the vial slowly filled up, even though it was small. Eventually there was only a small space left at the top, and the person withdrew their finger, then took the hand that was holding the stopper, and gently guided her to put it back in.

With a little self- congratulatory noise, they placed their finger in their mouth, sucking at the wound, and gave Ghost a grin. With the smell of fresh blood fading out, she could move again, and looked down at the vial of blood she now had.

“Well done,” they said, “A for being such a good girl, I’m going to let you keep that. Do save it for a special occasion, okay? It’s going to be such a treat for you, and a very nasty trick for everyone else.”

So this person did know what she was, and how it worked. That was unusual, even the vampires didn’t seem to know how she worked, and they theoretically should, given that she was half vampire in the first place.

“What are you?”

The person turned around to her, eyebrows raised, “You have a very nice voice you know, you might want to try using it more than you do.”

“What are you?”

The fact that she was still talking seems to please them, as they smiled a coy smile, “Guess.”

Ghost looked down at the vial in her hands, and then thought back to the sensations that smelling the blood had caused.


It laughed, “Excellent guess. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve chaos to cause elsewhere.”

The trees rustled, a distinct absence of wind in the air, and Ghost blinked and they were gone. She looked back down at the vial in her hands. A vial of Fae blood. The Fae were such rare visitors to this plane that people often thought they were myth, and certainly the stories of them were varied to say the least. But now she had a vial of Fae blood, if the person was to be believed, and they had warned her to save it. She knew what vampire, human and werewolf blood would do for her, but she was entirely unsure about Fae abilities, and what she would inherit from the blood.

Princess the Hopeful Fiction



So, at the moment, I’ve been working on a piece of fiction to do with my princess character. It’s not a novel (I mean, It’s length, but not a novel) and very few people are going to read it. Mostly I’m writing it because I want to, and if I’m writing something I want to write then that’s better than writing nothing at all, because I’m having a really bad week.

Also I’ve still got a kickstarter to cash in where I can get my own text printed on a scarf, and if I like this enough when it hits the upper word count, then there’s a chance that I’ll get this printed up and wear it around my neck, which is awesome.

However, since it is what I am currently working on, I thought I’d share an extract of it here. Because why on earth not, and I need to do a writing post for this week. So here’s an extract from my current fiction, about my character from the tabletop Princess game I play in.


“She is what she is, she does what she does. And she has an entire court that loves her for it,” Aegis said.

Before he could respond, there was a faint screeching noise from in the clouds, which caused them both to look up and around.

“What was that?”

“Not sure,” Aegis was scanning the clouds banks around them, looking for anything out of the ordinary among the fluffy white expanse.

The cry came around again, and echoed around them, less muffled this time.

He looked around, spotting a princess of spades and calling out to them, “What is that?”

“Not sure, we shouldn’t get anything up this high. I mean, the only thing that would be big enough to handle the currents is a-“

Out of the cloud on the left hand side of the ship burst a dark feathered form, cresting over the clouds, eyeing up the ship, before diving back down beneath the top layer, and the boat shuddered as the bird that was at least a third of its length battered against the underside.


The cry echoed around the airship, and suddenly princesses were erupting from everywhere, shouting and calling to each other, adjusting various parts of the ship as it shook again, and Aegis spotted a number of them arming themselves.

He turned to look at her, his eyebrows slightly raised as he gripped the railing to steady himself, “Aren’t you going to join in?”

“I’m going to let the Princesses with the ranged weapons tackle the moving bird as it circles the ship. If it lands, I’ll very much get involved. Until then, there’s a lot of air between us that makes melee combat somewhat difficult.”

“True,” he turned to look out over the clouds, stumbling slightly as the boat shuddered again.

“Just hold on. It’ll be fine, these princesses are professionals.”

A number of grins flashed around her as the ranged weapons appeared, searching through the clouds, tracking the shadows and valleys that appeared.


The call came from the other side of the ship, and more than half the princesses moved over, leaving only a few to stand guard. A number of twangs were heard as arrows and other projectiles were loosed, several of them hitting their target.

Bursting out from the cloud cover, the Roc screeched, causing many people to wince or cover ears in some cases. Even Aegis narrowed one eye in discomfort at the noise, still watching as small volleys of projectiles were launched at the creature, more attempting to drive it off than kill it at the moment.

It wheeled and dodged, making another screech, before it rolled, going over the ship this time, raking its claws against the skin of the balloon. It didn’t manage to piece through it, the magically reinforced cloth apparently holding for now, but it did batter the balloon off centre, the ropes going slack on one side, taught on the other, making the deck tilt horribly as Aegis grasped onto a rope and she spotted the Queens emerging from the lower decks.

Then the deck swung to catch up with the balloon, snapping the ropes taught all at once, swinging wildly. Aegis rolled with it well enough, the vibrations jarring up her armoured boots, but there was a startled yell to the side that had her turning her head.


There was a short cry from the Queen of Hearts as Aegis also spotted him, toppling over the edge of the ship, scrabbling for handhold as he was the wrong side of the railing.

Aegis leapt from where she had been standing, crossing the deck in a few steps, reaching out, only to have his grip slip as the Roc slammed into the balloon again, and the deck jumped a few inches.

Drawing her sword off her back, Aegis didn’t think twice as she jumped over the railing herself, tumbling over so she could reach down and snag the back of his tunic with one hand, the other one bringing her sword around and slamming it into the underside of the boat, angling it to trap itself against the wood, providing a good handhold.

As expected, the impact jarred her shoulders apart as she took the weight of him dangling against the grip of the other on her sword. Adjusting her feet, she managed to place them against the hull of the boat, giving her a little extra support. She turned down to look at the Rose Groom, grinning in spite of the ache in her arms.

“Whatever happened to holding on?”

He chuckled in an embarrassed fashion, not attempting to look around to make it easier for her to continue holding onto him, “Thanks for the catch.”

“No problem. Getting back on deck might be more of one.”

“Hey,” a head appeared over the side of the railings, belong to the Queen of Spades, “how’s it hanging?”

“You’re awful.”

She laughed, and then threw a rope ladder over the side of the railing, where it swung a couple of feet away from them. Aegis gritted her teeth, then using the motion of the ship, swung him out so that he could grasp the ladder, finding his own feet on the wooden rungs and she could let go of his collar.

With quick motions, he went up and over, back onto the deck, which just left Aegis, judging the jump between her perch on the hull and the swinging ladder.

Until the Roc screeched again, bursting up from the clouds beneath them, slamming into the hull next to where Aegis was.

“Naturally,” she looked up to the sky, well, upwards anyway, allowing herself a moment of resignation as the Roc turned to fix its gaze on her.

Gritting her teeth again, she judged the wind, and then leapt, pushing off from the hull as the Roc beat its wings, head snapping at her heels. Its head brushed the underside of her foot, and she used it as another slight boost, hands stretching out for the ladder.

Grabbing the last rung, she held firm as she swung out, the massive bird missing its second attack by inches as her shoulders were wrenched for a second time in as many minutes. Hauling herself up the ladder, it got easier once she could plant her feet on the rungs, and then she was up and over, feet planted on the deck again, which was a lot firmer than air.

Taking steps away from the edge she concentrated and held out her hand, summoning her sword back into it, before sheathing it.

“Sure you don’t want to keep it out?”

“Nah. She’s got this.”

Aegis had only glanced in Her (Wands) direction, but she had already seen that her weapon was out, and that she had one foot on the railing, timing her strike carefully so that the massive lance pierced down, skewering the bird’s wing joint as the Queen of Hearts stood next to her, keeping one eye on her to pull her backward should the deck shift again, and one eye on her husband, who was standing in the doorway to the lower decks, probably at her insistence, lest he lose his footing again.

It screamed once more, blood droplets flying through the air as it backpedalled and the Queen of Wands let it slide off the Lance, watching it carefully as it changed direction, away from the airship, attempting to fly and only partially succeeding as it had trouble flapping one rings.

Aegis looked over at the Queen of Spades, “Apologies for the hole in your ship.”

She shrugged, “It’s easier to replace than he is,” she indicated him with a jerk of her thumb and a grin as Aegis shook her head at her humorous spirit.

The Queen left to attend to something, and Aegis turned away, rotating her shoulder, her hand resting on top of her armour as she attempted to stretch it out, reliving the ache that came from overuse without warming up. Footsteps faded away, then came back, and a large hand was placed on top of her own. Aegis turned her head upwards to look at the face of her Queen.

“You okay?” she asked in a low voice.

“It’ll be fine.”

The hand moved up to cup her cheek, and the two of them gazed at each other for a few moments, before the queen leaned down and their foreheads touched.

“Try not to jump overboard again, okay?”

“No promises. Might have to save another damsel in distress.”

She felt her queen smile, then withdraw, the warmth of her hand lingering on Aegis’ cheek. She smiled to herself, eyes half closing in contentment, before she turned to find somewhere she could sit on deck out of the way.

C'est La Vee

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I have people to kill, lives to ruin, plagues to bring, and worlds to destroy. I am not the Angel of Death. I'm a fiction writer.